Failed Ninja Robbery Attempt

This entry was posted by Rob on Tuesday, 28 April, 2009 at

In yet another story where some fool makes ninjas look bad, we have a ninja robbery attempt in Weymouth, Massachusetts last week. Witnesses say the man was dressed up like a ninja, and used a ninja sword while trying to rob a dry cleaner.

Apparently, the ninja wearing a ski mask and a sword in a sheath on his belt, walked into a Tedeschi convenience store around 8 AM in the morning. Mistake number one, he should have snuck into the store at night… you know, all sneaky-like in the shadows.

“All the witnesses said he was dressed like a ninja,” says Police Sgt. Richard Fuller. “He was in all black including the black ski mask. And they said it was a ‘ninja sword’ (he was carrying).”

Alarmed by the seemingly armed ninja entering the store, the convenience store clerk started to call the police. The ninja noticed the clerk on the phone. Good pickup, Mr. Ninja.

Next, the man rips off his ninja mask and asks the clerk if she is calling the police on him. Mistake number two, a ninja never reveals his true identity.

When the clerk says she was in fact calling the police on him, he gets scared and walks out of the store. Mistake number three, a ninja doesn’t walk out a door, he drops a smoke bomb and disappears!

So now the ninja walks down the street and enters a nearby Galaxy Cleaners.

The agitated ninja draws his sword and points the katana at the dry cleaner clerk, demanding all of the cash. This clerk tells the gullible ninja that she could not open the drawer.

The ninja now flees the second scene, again, without a smoke bomb cover. What a lame attempt at being a ninja. Mistake number four, if you are lame, you are not a ninja.

The Ninja Master from the Deadliest Warrior show would have been very disappointed.

Police are still searching for the man, who since he pulled off his mask, witnesses can say appeared to be in his late 20s and gave a facial description.

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5 Responses to “Failed Ninja Robbery Attempt”

  1. I’m very disappointed with this news… because I live in the (Japanese) prefecture that produced the Ninja 400 years ago…

    We are proud of Ninja, who was born and raised in our prefecture.

    It’s still cool character in many TV shows, Animations, Comics, Movies, etc. We have Ninja summit every year and some goverenment officials wear Ninja costumes when they work at the summit day!

    I hope next time more skillful Ninja would appear and succeed his job.

  2. My teen daughter told me about this one, but she neglected to tell me about the smoke bomb. Apparently this perp made her high school group’s “TOP FAILs” top 20. May I never be a legend for being a failure.

  3. Rob

    @Nyanko – I know. Any loser can go to a Halloween shop nowadays, buy a fake ninja costume and run around like a fool.

    It’s a shame. Perhaps a real ninja will seek out this impostor and show him a thing or two…

  4. Haha. Maybe it was a wanna be ninja. or maybe just a goth guy.

    I find this blog quite hilarious. I was also reading your review of the Spike TV show, which I have not seen. Sounds pretty cool. Do they match up ninjas against other warriors? I’d love to know how they match up with other warriors.

    Ninjas are getting such a bad rap nowadays in the modern times. The laws keep getting in the way, of people being cool ninjas.

    Ninjas just seem like a made up word, or used for someone who can do a back flip. Back flips in the park are just not as cool as a life of solitude, masks, ninjas stars, shadows and smoke bombs.

    oh well.

  5. Thomas James

    That’s just to funny. Thief definitely needs to revisit “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” 1,2 & 3 for additional training.

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