Shady Pepper Spray Deal
I was walking down the aisle between desks at my Dilbert cube job the other day. This co-worker sees me and waves me over to him.
“Hey man…” he whispers.
Playing along, I whispered back “What’s up?”
He looks around cautiously, lowers his head and voice, and whispers “Hey man, do you still sell those self defense products?”
Still playing along, I look side to side cautiously and whisper back “Yeah man, why are we whispering?”
He ignores my question and continues to whisper “Do you think I should buy some pepper spray for my wife?”
I thought it was kind of an odd question so I replied “I don’t know, do you think you should buy your wife some pepper spray?”, and yes I still humored him and whispered.
Smartly, he did answer this question by saying, I mean whispering “Yeah, sometimes she works late, and then stops off at the gym or grocery store. I don’t like her walking alone in the empty parking lots by herself.” I believe that’s about what I made out; I was getting kind of annoyed straining to hear him whisper.
At this point since we were being all secretive and shady drug dealer like, I wished I was wearing a long trench coat so I could look around cautiously and open up one side of the coat, and display my wares like they were stolen or fake Rolex watches. I would have pulled out my smart phone and let him look at the webpage on my phone, but I had let the battery run out overnight and had to leave it in my car charging.
Assuming he wouldn’t be comfortable going over to his cube and typing up the website on his PC since he was already nervous, I suggested that we head out to the parking lot during lunch and I could “hook him up”. There I go again sounding all drug dealer like… no wonder he kept whispering and looking around…
When we got out to my car, I handed him a catalog, and showed him a few items I had on hand. He found a few things he wanted, and another couple things I didn’t have on me that he wanted to order.
“I don’t suppose you take credit cards do you?” he asked.
This was the point I felt it necessary to point out that 1) these products are 100% LEGAL and didn’t need to whisper around about like he was looking for pot, and 2) yes I have a legitimate business, and take cash, check and yes, all major credit cards.
He kind of laughed and indicated he wasn’t exactly sure, but wanted some items to protect himself and his wife in case anything happened just the same.
“Oh, so all of these items aren’t just for your wife who works late?” I wanted to ask, but I figured I tortured this poor soul enough. I figure the lecture about “how carrying self-defense products do not make you less of a man” could wait until next time.
But this whole incident did shed some light on a common misconception some people must have. Self defense products aren’t just for the meek. Men and women can both benefit from arming themselves with pepper spray, stun guns, TASER devices or any other available self defense weapons.
Haven’t they ever seen Dogg the Bounty Hunter? He’s a pretty rough and tough man’s man, and he is always packing a can of Mace defensive spray or a telescopic steel baton… Of course he is willingly putting himself into harm’s way on a regular basis, so you can imagine he would routinely want to make sure he has an advantage.
Also, you won’t find a manly police officer without a firearm, pepper spray, TASER Device or some form of baton or billy club with them at all times while on duty (and probably a couple of those items when he is off-duty).
But even if you are Joe average citizen, it doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself in a compromising situation when you might need to defend yourself or a loved one. You never know, and you’d rather be safe, than sorry.
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