Couple winners in the news today.

First we have a 22-year-old truck burglar in Tampa, Florida. Looks like he was doing the rounds in a parking lot when the owner of the truck he was breaking into shows up. A fight breaks out and the suspect flees the scene. The owner chases him to a construction site where the burglar ducks inside a Portable Toilet and attempts to hide.

The truck driver sees the man enter the construction site restroom, and tips the entire housing over. Needless to say the toilet had in fact been used a number of times, and the spill covered “him in huge amounts of human waste.”

Not cool.

Next we have a 25-year-old drunk driver in Iowa City, Iowa. Early Sunday morning a police officer sees the drunk man driving without his headlights on and pulls him over. The driver is arrested and put into the police car. While driving to the station, the man offers “free sub sandwiches” to the cop in exchange for letting him go.

Apparently the man has some sub shop connections and free food at his disposal. The officer declined the offer. Perhaps if the man worked in a donut shop a better deal could have been made?

The last unusual crime story of the day is the apparent theft of am 8-foot mechanical gorilla. AN outdoor flea market in East Machias, Maine displays, well used to display this primate statue at the entrance to the marketplace. All of the sudden in broad daylight, the flea market owner noticed this rather large and heavy monkey was missing.

At first, he asked his clerk if he had wheeled in inside, but the clerk thought the owner must have moved it. Which in either case would have been a feat, as this huge gorilla has a concrete base and some heavy electric motors that moved the arms up and down when running.

“Who the hell would ever steal a gorilla as heavy as that thing was?” said the owner. A Maine State Police Officer said he believes the 8-foot-tall, concrete based, electronic moving armed gorilla might be “decorating some college student’s apartment.”

That must be some determined group of college kids pulling off a prank of that magnitude. It would be one heck of a conversation piece at the next frat party.

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