So much for Enter the Dragon, Bruce Lee he is not. Apparently a ninja, or at least a lame attempt at being one unsuccessfully attempted to steal two different ATM machines in sunny Florida over the past few weeks. One outside a bank, one outside a Walgreens.

Authorities in West Palm Beach were reviewing some surveillance footage of a hefty man, squeezed into an authentic looking ninja costume. All that was visibly was the overweight man’s eyes, aside from the bulging beer gut hanging over the belt line. Not exactly a martial arts poster child, Bruce Lee would be sad. Kinda reminds me of the old Chris Farley Beverly Hills Ninja movie.

It was not disclosed actually how the man was attempting to sneak off into the shadows with the ATM machines or the loot contained within, but I’m sure it was more covert than the guy in Ohio.

This guy stood in line at a Stow, Ohio bank for several minutes, with a ski mask on. He politely waited his turn and approached the teller, who then asked him to remove his mask before being served.

As if his intentions were not yet clear, it was then when the ski-masked man produced what ended up being a toy gun, and demanded an undisclosed amount of money.

Much to the surprise of this not-so-stealthy robber, the police were tipped off a few minutes before the attempt, and were able to arrest him rather quickly after a brief car chase. I don’t know, perhaps someone noticed this guy while he waited in line and reported suspicious activity?

The last story for the day is more self-defense related, but involves punching a shark.

Looks like an Australian surfer unloaded his fist into the side of the head of a shark while it bit the leg of his 13-year-old cousin and dragged her under the water.

“He’s extremely brave in his actions. He’s probably saved her life.” says a local police officer.

The two were surfing off Tasmania on Sunday when a 16-foot white-pointer shark grabbed the girl by the leg and dragged her under. Her 20-year-old cousin paddled over, punched the shark, who then released its bite. He then put the girl onto his surfboard and paddled back to the safety of the shore. That is a big freaking shark.

The girl was in stable condition in the hospital and is expected to recover. Luckily, her quick thinking and brave cousin was able to take action and thwart what could have been a fatal encounter.

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