Posts Tagged machete

Freddy Krueger robs convenience store with machete?

Posted by Rob on Tuesday, 9 March, 2010

Is nothing sacred?

Apparently a 280-pound man robbed a convenience store in the Chicago suburb of Oak Lawn Sunday night, dressed in a Freddy Krueger mask and armed with a machete and a bowie knife.

Even the clerk was puzzled. The Foodies Food Store clerk actually said, ” ‘You’re joking, right?’ and Krueger says, ‘No, I’m serious,’ ” reported the police.

The clerk was able to look through the eye holes to determine the robber was a white male, probably between 37 and 43 years old, standing approximately 5’10″.

To further go against Krueger’s “Nightmare on Elm Street” trademark wardrobe, the man was wearing a blue hoodie sweatshirt and khaki pants, not a striped sweater.

He made off with an undisclosed amount of money from the register and fled on foot.

So for the sake of arguement, lets get the facts straight:

Freddy Kreuger: red and dark green striped sweater, brown fedora
Signature weapon: metal-clawed brown leather glove

Jason Voorhees: hockey mask
Signature weapon: machete

Not a hockey mask with finger knives, not a Freddy mask with a machete.

Be Safe, Be Prepared, Get your Horror Movie Facts straight.

Other Posts of Interest:
Two teen girls arrested in accidental pepper spray discharge
Serial Killers, Self Defense and Halloween

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Robber Falls Asleep While Holding Man Hostage

Posted by Rob on Sunday, 7 March, 2010

A machete-wielding robber held a 61-year-old Birmingham homeowner hostage for seven hours in a home invasion, until he eventually grew tired and allowed the victim to escape.

After threatening the man with a machete and hammer, the robber told the victim he would “slice him open” if he didn’t hand over all of his cash. For some reason the robber then stuck around awhile, holding the man hostage.

Jason VoorheesEventually the robber wandered into the victim’s bedroom. In Goldilocks fashion, the bed ended up being just right. The 24-year-old robber crashed on the mattress and fell asleep.

The victim was then able to sneak out of the house and flee to his neighbor’s home where he called the police. The burglar was arrested and charged with aggravated burglary and false imprisonment.

I think Jason Voorhees would turn over in his grave to hear about this disrespect of a machete crime. But I suppose he would even get bored after messing around for 7 hours…

Be Safe, Be Prepared.

Related Blog Posts:
Theft Victim Slashes Suspect With Machete
Farm Worker Defends Himself by Fighting Python in a Tree
No Coconuts for You!
Machete Becoming Bay State’s Weapon of Choice?

Popularity: 4% [?]

Theft Victim Slashes Suspect With Machete

Posted by Rob on Thursday, 28 May, 2009

A guy in Athens, Georgia took matters into his own hands when his TV was stolen in a burglary, Friday the 13th style.

Apparently the theft victim confronted the man he blamed for the robbery by smashing out the driver’s side window of the suspect’s SUV. When the suspect got of of the vehicle, the guy slashed him with a machete.

Cutting the suspect’s wrist to the bone, a doctor later told the authorities that if the machete struck the suspect’s wrist more squarely, the weapon could have hacked his hand clean off. Jason Voorhees would not have made that mistake.

After being assaulted, the suspect took off, to be pulled over for a motor vehicle violation later that evening. When stopped, the officer saw the large gash just above the man’s wrist.

The officer arrested the suspect on two previous probation violation warrants and took him to Athens Regional Medical Center. It was then the suspect reported that he was attacked with a machete by a man earlier that night.

Doctors stitched the suspect’s wound, put his arm in a splint and released him back to the police.

I don’t think he will be ripping anyone else off anytime soon.

Be Safe, Be Prepared.

Other Machete Related Blog Posts:

No Coconuts for You!

Machete Becoming Bay State’s Weapon of Choice?

Machete Attack Leaves Two Hospitalized

Popularity: 9% [?]

No Coconuts for You!

Posted by Rob on Friday, 12 September, 2008

A man in Vero Beach, FL was arrested the other day after slashing a co-worker with a machete. Apparently the guy wanted to take a drink from a coconut, and a disagreement broke out over the break.

So these two guys are doing some landscaping in the hot Florida sun and one of them wants a drink. Sounds reasonable, so he cuts down some coconuts from a nearby coconut tree. The other guy gets irate and tells him to get back to work. No coconuts for you! When the first guys refuses, the victim grabs a lawn mower and runs over the coconuts.

Now the thirsty guy, still armed with the machete from cutting down the coconuts moments before, whacks the other guy with a machete. Charged with aggravated assault, It wasn’t reported if he chopped down another coconut and got his drink while the other guy laid wounded.

The guy is also now being held for Immigration and Customs violations. All over a coconut.

This story reminded me of that joke about the race up the coconut tree.

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are four animals underneath: a lion, a chimpanzee, a giraffe, and a squirrel.

They decide to compete to see who would be the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you think will win?

The lion?

The chimp?

The giraffe?

Maybe the squirrel?

Well if you guessed any of those, let me know when you find a tall coconut tree that is growing bananas…

Popularity: 8% [?]

Machete Becoming Bay State’s Weapon of Choice?

Posted by Rob on Wednesday, 9 April, 2008

The only Friday the 13th on the calendar in 2008 is in June, but already there has been a rash of Jason Voorhees like attacks. And it is only April. So far, this is the reported Machete attacks already occurring this year in the state of Machetusetts, I mean Massachusetts:

Jan. 7: (Roxbury, MA) Two men are arrested after they allegedly chase two people down a street while wielding a machete.

Jan. 18: (Chicopee, MA) A man is struck on his head, face and arm by a machete in the parking lot of Sunco Trading Corp during a robbery.

Feb. 4: (Springfield, MA) A man is slashed in the neck and throat and a woman is hit in the arm and leg with a machete in the parking lot of a Gulf gas station.

March 4: (Lynn, MA) Outside Lynn English High School, a 16-year-old Lynn boy suffers a facial laceration and nearly loses his right thumb from a machete attack.

March 8: (Boston, MA) An East Boston man is found bleeding from both feet from a machete attack in a staircase on Meridian Street.

March 13: (Boston, MA) An East Boston teen, victim of a daytime assault at City Hall Plaza is hacked in the left arm, back and shoulder by a machete.

March 15: (Boston, MA) A Revere man is struck in the mouth and back by a machete in a daytime assault on Dorchester Avenue. A South Boston woman was also hit in the head with the machete as she attempted to intervene.

March 26: (Lynn, MA) A Lynn teen is sliced on his left arm with a machete at a Strawberry Avenue playground while playing soccer with two brothers.

To date, these attacks pale in comparison to the death, destruction and gore of the machete-wielding mass murderer in the movies, but this frequency of machete attacks would even make Jason proud.

The machetes are being described as “inexpensive weapons (that) are too easily obtained”. “It’s obviously a very dangerous implement. It can cause severe damage when wielded against another human being,” says Mass. DA Daniel F. Conley.

For somewhere between $5 and $30 bucks, just about anyone can purchase a machete from online to the local Wal-mart. Typically ranging from 18-24 inches, this steel blade that can “cut, chop, slash, hack, split, scrape, scoop, hammer, crack or smash just about anything you can put in front of it.”

Machete sales are largely unregulated due to the fact it is designed and classified as a basic farming tool, mainly used in third world countries. Just like most of the Asian Martial Arts weapons that were originally peasant farming tools several hundred or thousand years ago, before they became popularized in Karate movies and American dojos.

But don’t worry. Massachusetts law prevents the sale of self defense weapons to all of its law abiding citizens. No tasers, no stun guns and extremely limited pepper spray approval if you jump through enough hoops and red tape!

We do have a few self defense options left for you Massachusetts, New York or other restricted state residents. Our telescopic steel batons are rather nice. Not too bad of an option. I wouldn’t mind having at least a 26″ inch steel baton to combat some psycho with a 18″ blade. Not necessarily ideal, but you have the reach advantage. And you can practice some moves and train yourself pretty good to defend yourself with the
telescopic steel baton. Most likely the machete is just being flailed around by an inexperienced wielder…

It would be nice to believe that nothing will happen to you, but the reality of it is that an ounce of protection could be worth more than a pound of cure. What is Worth Protection to you? Your belongings? Your family? Your personal well-being?

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Machete Attack Leaves Two Hospitalized

Posted by Rob on Wednesday, 6 February, 2008

Whenever I hear the word machete, the first thing that pops into my head is teenagers running through the woods near Crystal Lake as Jason hacks and slashes victims in a “Friday the 13th” movie.

Apparently on “Monday the 4th” (Feb 2008), a much less catchy day and date, a man in Springfield (DOH!), Massachusetts was accused of slashing a 42-year-old man in the throat and a 42-year-old woman in the arms and egs with a machete. (I don’t think I even know anyone who actually owns a machete.)

Police say this incident may have been in retaliation of an action by the female victim, where she may have stabbed the attacker’s sister earlier in the day. (Probably with a much less ominous sounding weapon)

So far the attacker is due in District Court for charges including assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, he is pleading not guilty, and the slashed couple is in fair condition at a local hospital. No word on the previously injured sister. I can only imagine that a hockey mask was NOT involved, that surely would have made the headline…

I guess some things are not only in the movies.

If I ever had some fool coming at me with a machete, I’d want something that would work at a distance. I’m thinking some Pepper Spray, probably in the pepper gel or pepper foam variety. Any of them would work, but personally I like the sticky goodness of the Mace Pepper Gel or the foaming action of the Mace Pepper Foam. Kinda like the scrubbing bubbles bathroom cleaner which I’m sure would burn someone’s eyes too, but I’ll stick with good old Mace.

Besides, I’d want a product that could also fill up the eye holes of the hockey mask…you know, just in case.

One of the benefits of gel or foam pepper spray is they are thick when applied. Most pepper sprays are liquid. They work very well, but drip off. Gels and foam more or less stay put and act like a blindfold. And this isn’t a paper or cloth blindfold for playing pin the tail on the donkey, this one hurts… and burns…

Another added feature of this thick concoction is it just begs to be rubbed off, further intensifying its effects. Then the fun begins, depending on what side of the canister you are on.

Make sure you have a full array of options in your self defense tool box. An attack could happen at anytime and anywhere. Be tooled on your person, in your car and in your home.

It might not be a machete, but if the time comes to deal out some punishment to those attempting to cause you or a loved one harm – Be ready. Be ready and be prepared. Have a plan and have a backup plan.

It would be nice to believe that nothing will happen to you, but the reality of it is that an ounce of protection could be worth more than a pound of cure. What is Worth Protection to you? Your belongings? Your family? Your personal well-being?

Popularity: 4% [?]

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