Posts Tagged zombies

RIP Corey Ian Haim dead at 38

Posted by Rob on Wednesday, 10 March, 2010

Corey HaimCanadian actor, Corey Haim was pronounced dead at 2:15 AM on March 10, 2010. Hopefully I’m not breaking this news to you for the first time, like I did to my wife a few hours after it happened. She thought I was kidding.

Best known for his 1980s Hollywood career as a teen idol, Corey appeared in a number of films such as Lucas, Murphy’s Romance, The Lost Boys, License to Drive and Dream a Little Dream.

By far, my favorite Corey Haim movie was The Lost Boys (and Lost Boys: The Tribe, even though he only cameo’d during the credits in the sequel).

In The Lost Boys, Haim played Sam Emerson, whose family recently moved to Santa Carla, California, a coastal town plagued by gang activity and unexplained disappearances. Which ends up being vampires.

During the course of the movie, Sam meets The Frog brothers, Edgar (Corey Feldman) and Alan, who are self-proclaimed vampire hunters. They give Sam a vampire comic book to instruct him on how to defend against and kill vampires. Eventually Sam believes the brothers, and the rest of the movie continues with the guys trying to kill off the vampire gang and save the Emersons. We probably all know how it ends.

For the most part, I think more people would know how to handle a vampire or zombie attack, rather than defending themselves against a human assailant.

Sure some of the tactics differ depending on the actual vampire movie, but the traditional standbys are pretty well known and accepted. For sake of argument, lets just use crosses, holy water, garlic, wooden stakes and sunlight.

I would wager a bet that just about anybody could have come up with this standard list, and would know how to use each item on a traditional Hollywood vampire. Let’s face it, even if you don’t like vampire horror movies, you have seen or heard enough about them to know this without thinking very hard.

Zombie self defense in traditional horror movies is slightly more involved, but I’d also bet that once you heard the methods, it is something you would remember. Killing a make believe zombie is memorable because it is unusual and uncommon. Seeing a zombie movie and learning the techniques is one of those “I’ll never actually need to use this, but for some reason this is burned into my mind because it is interesting.”

Think of all the other stupid meaningless trivia stored in your bin of useless knowledge. You will never forget why the chicken crossed the road. You will always remember what came first, the chicken or the egg. Ok, well maybe not that one.

But what about some simple tips about defending yourself or loved ones from a human being with criminal intent? Rapist, murderer, run of the mill thug wishing to do you harm?

To be honest, even if you can recall Tips 1-8 out of the list of top 10 self defense tactics, you may not be in any better shape than if you splashed the thug with holy water or crushed garlic (although garlic juice to the eye wouldn’t be pleasant.)

Not even the Hollywood vampires will follow a standard script, just like certain vampires in certain movies will act differently when exposed to certain tactics. Just ask Corey and the Frog brothers.

Self defense is much more than memorizing a set list of moves. You need to train your mind and body to enter a dynamic state of awareness and a dynamic course of action. No two attacks or scenarios will ever be the same.

Without getting into a ton of details in this post (more to follow), truly your best line of self defense is recognizing a potential threat well in advance, and avoiding the situation altogether, before it even happens. When possible.

In the cases when this is not possible, and a situation wasn’t noticed until the last minute, or no forewarning was given, you need to employ a dynamic course of action.

Dynamic means ever changing, depending on any new environmental variable that is introduced. Go with the flow, but know who, what, where, when and how. This is not following a set script. This is having a well defined bag of tricks, if you will. Depending on what happens, you need to be able to employ a custom solution, and if some variable changed mid stream, you need to be able to quickly adapt to that change, and dynamically change to a new appropriate course of action.

Think of something you are really good at, such as your job or even your favorite hobby. How many times at work do you effortlessly “put out fires”? Big or small, things of all sorts go wrong or unexpectedly at work, and with out batting an eye, or with only minimal effort, you solve the problem and carry on with your day. These actions are normal occurrences, or things that you have trained to handle over and over again. Or you have enough working knowledge and experience that you can dynamically adapt to any given situation and take care of it.

Let’s categorize three types of home handyman. The professional, the handy-around-the-house husband, and the totally clueless.

The totally clueless person may call a professional electrician to come change a burnt out light bulb. The handy-around-the-house husband may be handy enough to install a ceiling fan in place of a ceiling light fixture. The professional electrician would be able to convert a fuse box to a circuit breaker box and rewire the home if necessary. Of course there are also several other in-betweens. It all depends on how comfortable that person is with what needs to be done, and how dynamic the actions of the person are if something else happens.

What happens if the husband successfully installs the ceiling fan, and then 1/2 the house’s power goes out? Can he fix it or does he call the electrician? Break out the Time-Life Home Improvement book and see what happens.

On the street, you can’t break out a manual, and calling a professional is not always practical. Hopefully you have enough self defense know how to get by. Depending on the situation, you may need to come out swinging. You might need to play along and wait for an opening to attack or flee. You may be able to just hand over your wallet and end it.

But you have to have the bag of tricks down and be ready to adapt to the situation, without going all deer in the headlights. You don’t necessarily need to be a 10th degree Grand Master martial artist either. Have a plan, have some options, be handy-around-the-street. Practice in your head, practice in person.

I’ll follow up over the next few weeks with some ways to turn some traditional self defense tips into a dynamic self defense mindset. It’s not that hard, doesn’t require taking a lifetime of devotion to gain martial arts mastery, but it can help you think like a professional martial artist and take charge of your personal protection.corey haim

Self Defense – Defending one’s Self. – Go with the flow, adapt, overcome.

Be Safe, Be Prepared. Rest In Peace Corey.

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Woody Harrelson Mistakes Photographer for Zombie

Posted by Rob on Tuesday, 14 April, 2009

I’ve always liked Woody Harrelson, but I think he has finally lost it.

No doubt you have heard of his latest scuffle with a TMZ photographer at La Guardia Airport in New York last Wednesday evening. If you haven’t, I’m sure YouTube is flooded with the latest video footage.

Apparently the standard paparazzo harassment built up to Woody damaging the guys camera and at least pushed him in the face. Of course the footage doesn’t include the initial confrontation, so It can only be surmised what started the incident.

The first of the two videos show the photographer following Harrelson and his daughter down an escalator and out of the airport terminal, ending with Harrelson apparently reaching out for the lens. It seems Harrelson grabs the camera and the photographer got smacked in the face in the exchange.

The second video begins with the photographer accusing Harrelson of breaking his camera and assaulting him. After Harrelson returns the camera to him, another scuffle appears to ensue.

“Woody, this is assault. Woody, this is assault,” the photographer is heard saying while continuing to pursue the actor. “Woody, chill out. Would you please chill out?”

Of course the photographer continues to follow Harrelson for another several minutes rolling film, as the actor and his daughter try exit to the airport parking lot instead of leaving well enough alone. At one point, Harrelson again turns toward the cameraman.

“I’m being chased by Woody Harrelson while I’m talking to you,” the photographer tells an unidentified person on a cell phone, while he in fact is chasing down Woody… Apparently the photographer is confused.

“He hit me in my face, he broke my friggin’ camera, he broke the camera in pieces,” the photographer continues.

Harrelson, his daughter and a driver get inside an SUV and drive away, ending the encounter.

I’m not going to condone the behavior either way. The paparazzo have long been known to be quite aggressive in their dealings of snapping pictures, filming video, harassing and otherwise bothering famous people. And the celebrity scuffles and retaliations are often well publicized, and usually nicely clipped to include all the footage of the out of control star, and none of the beginning instigation, but that is another story.

But what makes this story interesting in particular is the official statement provided by Woody Harrelson after this one.

“I wrapped a movie called ‘Zombieland,’ in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character,” Harrelson said last Friday in a statement issued by his publicist.

“With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie,” stated Woody Harrelson.

A zombie photographer, Woody?


According to IMDb, in the movie “Zombieland,” Harrelson plays “the most frightened person on Earth” looking for refuge from zombies. Shouldn’t Woody have been kicking some zombie ass, Natural Born Killer style??

Since it is coming up again, let me refer you back to the Zombie Self-Defense Tips from a few weeks back. Apparently there were not any electronic road sign warnings about Zombies near the La Guardia Parking garage.

“Woody Harrelson has a history of anger management issues with people and we intend to put a stop to this,” says the lawyer of another photographer who filed a lawsuit against Harrelson for an alleged 2006 attack outside a Hollywood nightclub.

I have an idea, let’s put a stop to the paparazzo harassment. Hey Woody, wanna buy a Taser? Still shamelessly looking for that celebrity endorsement…

Be Safe, Be Prepared, Watch out for Zombies.

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Caution: Zombies Ahead

Posted by Rob on Wednesday, 4 February, 2009

Electronic road signs are getting hacked in some states and are warning of zombies and raptors down the road. I hate it when the zombies mess up my commute!

Traffic safety officials aren’t amused.

One of the latest breach came during Tuesday morning’s rush hour near Collinsville, Ill., east of St. Louis. The southbound Interstate 255 displayed, “DAILY LANE CLOSURES DUE TO ZOMBIES.”

Similar pranks have been reported recently near Indianapolis and in Austin, Texas.

The Illinois Department of Transportation are concerned that such pranks distract drivers from legitimate hazards down the road, perhaps endangering road crews. Because zombies and raptors aren’t enough of a nuisance, now we have distracted drivers to worry about…

Tampering with official traffic control devices is a misdemeanor punishable by up to a $250 fine in Illinois.

Being eaten by a zombie or raptor in rush hour traffic… Priceless.

I found some Zombie Self-Defense Tips (if you choose to ignore the roadside warnings) from How Zombies Work (HowStuffWorks).

Zombie Self-Defense

Whether featuring traditional, shambling zombies or a newer, smarter breed, most movies and games agree on how to survive a zombie attack:

1. Don’t panic.
2. Get away from the zombies. Most of the time, you can move faster than they can.
3. Gather food, water, an emergency radio, flashlights and weapons, and retreat to a secure location.
4. If possible, retreat to a shopping mall, general retail store or other location where you’ll have easy access to food and supplies.
5. Stay away from densely populated areas, where the infestation is likely to be heaviest.
6. Barricade all entrances and stay put at all costs.
7. Don’t get surrounded or backed into a corner or other enclosed space.
8. Remember that anyone bitten or killed by a zombie will become a threat to you and your party.
9. Wait patiently for rescue and make long-term preparations for your survival.

Also, avoid common mistakes like:

* Sheltering in a vehicle to which you do not have the keys
* Leaving blades, cudgels or other basic weapons out for zombies to find
* Teaching zombies how to use firearms
* Giving your only weapon to anyone who is hysterical
* Retreating to a basement or cellar without taking supplies with you
* Getting into an elevator in a building infested with zombies
* Letting personal feelings and arguments get in the way of survival

DISCLAIMER: Yes, this post is meant to be humorous. Zombie Self Defense tips are not 100% guaranteed to work against real zombies, but may prove helpful. All bets are off if you run into a pack of wild Raptors.

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